Song of the Week w/c 7th July 2025

Hello folks! It's been an eventful week for me. Most relevantly to what I'm going to be discussing shortly, is that I got diagnosed with autism! It's still feeling a bit weird and I'm going to give it a bit of time to settle into my brain properly. However, right after the appointment I had on the Thursday, I spent a lot of time watching emo music videos that I'd remembered enjoying and watching obsessively when I was in my early teens. I realised that when I was feeling kind of weird and uncertain and stressed, they provided me a lot of comfort. Some of that is in their familiarity, and some of it is in the music and videos themselves. Anyway, it got me thinking about how much some of these songs have meant to me, and for how long! I've talked previously about how I first got into music properly --- which I'd had little specific interest or taste in until highschool. In those first few years or so, I didn't have a lot of access to ways to control my own music, still. I had CDs, eventually, and could listen to some things at home. But, mostly, the way that I found more music that I loved was by borrowing a laptop from the library after school, opening YouTube, and typing "emo music" into the search bar. I'd just sort of click on whatever was the first playlist that came up, and then undiscerningly watch every music video in the queue. Over time, this was how I built up familiarity with the music in the scene, and ended up finding a lot of the stuff I really love now!

As well as thinking about these songs and videos as the origin of my taste in music, I also thought a lot about the way I interface with and connect to music. While over the past few weeks I've had to spend quite a lot of time thinking about autism and how it makes my life harder in order to answer endless questions and take part in weird assessments (I hate you, The Frog Book), this is definitely an area where I feel like my intense interests and sensory-seeking behaviour mean that I'm winning out. When I really like a song, it feels like it's filling all of me up with its energy, a fizzing kicking wave of joy that passes through all of my body. It feels like I can barely hold my self still, and I remember listening to music on the way home from school, dancing and jumping and spinning. It's something I still do now --- I don't really care what people on the street think, and generally if they say anything it's a positive interaction. When the drums are just right, it feels like they're taking over the beat of my heart, and all of me is thrumming in time with the song, melding into some sort of cyborg, part human and part music. I feel emotions very strongly, and it can really suck when I'm upset, but when I'm happy it's amplified, a bouncing joyous peak that I'm happy to be able to reach. Having strong and specific interests means there are some songs that I've liked a really really long time, and I can remember all sorts of facts about them and the bands associated that improve my enjoyment even more!

So, I think this week, with my better understanding with myself, it's interesting to revisit some of the music videos that I loved so much as a kid. And, of course, it's thematically relevant too, because I've been watching them a lot over the past week as a form of grounding and comfort. That means that, mostly, what I have to provide for you is YouTube links --- you're welcome to just listen to the tracks, but for me, the experience with the videos is inextricably linked. I was shocked, actually, by how many music videos I remembered, and in how much detail. I ended up putting together a playlist of 91 (!!) songs for which given only the thumbnail I was able to scrub through the whole video in my head. I suppose that's testament to how much I watched the exact same ones on repeat! Hopefully, given that very high number, you can understand how very difficult it was to narrow the list down to a few fun ones to share with you this week. I have tried my very best, but it's still going to be a bit long, so apologies!! I'll begin with the ones I have a bit less to say about, and we'll ramp it up as we go.

To begin with, and to set the mood right, we've got Fat Lip by Sum 41. As with a number of the other songs I'm going to talk about, I'd be loathe to really call it "emo" these days, but it came up on my playlists, so it's categorised as such in my head nonetheless. I think this is just such an ELECTRIC video, that dials up the crazy fun song to another level. It's just really such a joy! I love this genre of video, where it's a bunch of weirdos dancing and hanging out together --- the greatest part is that, to make the video, they had to throw these fun shows and parties for local people to come by and enjoy. I think, especially in this video, it's worth noting that I think it provided good role models for me too. First of all, this genre can be really white so I always appreciated Sum 41 having a band member that wasn't! Also, I just think that the general crowd is filled with, as I noted, a bunch of weirdos and, you know, people who look I suppose "non-normative" in different ways. It was great to see them all having fun and being carefree and represented in this video in this way. The Beastie Boys-style call and response makes this great fun to sing along to, and it's hard to hate them singing, "I'll never fall in line/ Become another victim of your conformity."

Gives You Hell by the All-American Rejects is another one that I mostly really liked because I think the music video is so hype. It's just soooo iconic to me --- even though I was probably more like the "buttoned-up" version of Tyson Ritter, it gave me the power and freedom to imagine I was the "party" version, and that meant a lot to me at that age, ha! And now, you know, I'm still not quite that crazy --- but I do think it was genuinely healthy for me to find it cooler to break the rules and be hedonistic and just do the shit you enjoy for the hell of it. I am a massive rule follower, and as we discussed in my autism assessment, I also follow rules for no particular reason, other than because they exist. Remembering that I should focus my priorities on my own (and, also others') enjoyment, is really important and sometimes hard to do! I hear that All-American Rejects are touring again right now, and they're mostly touring house parties, which just seems great. If only they'd come to the UK...

Now onto one I've got a few more thoughts on --- The Middle by Jimmy Eats World made a late appearance on this list because it had completely slipped my mind. I am very thankful that I found it again just in time, because it's one of the ones I remember loving most vividly. I think the song itself conveys the message pretty well, but the music video really adds a lot in my opinion, so I'll sketch it out in case you can't watch it. We follow a teen boy at a house party that's filled with people in their underwear. He is fully clothed, and as he weaves through the house it is clear he feels uncomfortable. He keeps turning down corridors and running into people making out etc. As the song comes to a close, he decides to give in, finds a corner, and starts taking his clothes off. As he does so, he locks eyes with somebody else doing the same thing. They both realise that they'd prefer to put their clothes back on and just get out of there together, and do so. I think it's simple, but that makes sense --- it was apparently written for a 13 year old kid who wrote in to the band about not fitting in, especially in the punk scene. It pitches itself so that people of that age can understand it, and connect with the lyrics, that sing, "Just be yourself/ Doesn't matter if it's good enough/ For someone else." I think, especially as I reached an age where it felt like everybody around me was growing up and leaving me behind, becoming these people that suddenly had new interests (sex and otherwise) that I couldn't really relate with them on, this was a really important element of grounding for me. And, of course, it helps that Jimmy Eat World are cool! They're at the party in the video, doing a rock show. Someone telling you to be yourself and not worry about others means a lot more to you when it's someone you think is cool and respect, rather than your own parents or teachers. I'm sorry! That's just how it is.

I feel like I'm going to get into multiple weeks running of talking about Pierce the Veil but hey, they've been on my mind a lot recently (I am fighting the stupid website to make it give me reasonably-priced tickets. It is not working so far.). The song I've chosen to make you listen to this time is King for a Day. There's a few reasons for that. The first is that I find it a very satisfying video to watch. Even if you haven't had a job like in the video (which I hadn't, at the time I was first watching this) it's just really enjoyable to watch the disgruntled employees being made to work overtime come out on top, steal loads of money, and humiliate their boss. The music itself is also just so wonderful. I feel this is an opinion that isn't shared by people I talk to on average, but the screaming that opens this track just makes me feel relaxed and present immediately. As I mentioned, though there are a lot of annoying noises that really upset me, I'm also a very sensory-seeking person, and this definitely manifests itself in my love for any kind of screaming in music. In fact, I go on and on every week about how much I like music that is dramatic. Well, I suppose we know why now. Kellin Quinn (of Sleeping with Sirens) also makes an appearance on this track, and I think he and Vic Fuentes work really well together, their layered vocals adding an extra level to this already great song. The vocals, drums, breaks and modulations in this song, it's just all so great. Finally, a thing I wanted to note here but that is true of a lot of the videos I was watching at the time and of the emo genre in general, is its representation of "non-standard gender performances", to put a awkwardly long name to it. A standard for a lot of emo band members, well exemplified by our friend Vic Fuentes in this video, is long, styled hair, nail polish, make up, and a general disregard for traditional style pointers for men. I suppose it's something that I've always really connected with, and I think was important for me to see in the music I consumed. (If you want my very favourite example, check out the Miss Murder (long version) video, and bask in the glory of Davey Havok's beautiful acrylics and falsies). It probably also influenced my type in people, best described as "long-haired and politically-engaged".

Speaking of politically-engaged, I am very excited to finally talk about System of a Down. I've been thinking about them a lot this week, since I watched Serj Tankian on Mythical Kitchen. The video's really great, you can tell Josh is a big fan and he's a fantastic interviewer as always, and it's just so lovely to hear Serj speak. He's so intelligent, kind, and sort of spiritual, too. I would definitely recommend you watch it if you have any interested in SOAD but it's also a great video otherwise, to introduce you to who he is and his fantastically interesting thoughts. Plus, I think basically all the foods he picks are from Armenia and the Levant, which means there's lots of delicious food to look at. My introduction to SOAD was through their most popular song, Chop Suey!. The video is psychedelic good fun, with some clever camera tricks to create the trippy visuals of the band members passing through each other.

You might encounter a viewer discretion warning on the video but in my opinion, you're free to skip it. The reason is this: the song was originally going to be called "Suicide", and features the lyrics, "I don't think you trust/ In my self-righteous suicide/ I cry when angels deserve to die". In fact, their label thought with that title it would get no play at all, and so they changed the title to a play-on-words, cutting the word in half to get "Chop Suey!". It's a bit funny, because it's not really about suicide, really. The band members have discussed the way the song is more about the way that people can end up judged based on the way that they die, and that people still deserve the same dignity even if they die in "undignified" ways. Anyway, ironically they actually still got basically no radio play at all, because the song was released about a month before 9/11, after which it ended up on the list of "lyrically questionable" songs to be played on US radios, put together in the Clear Channel memorandum. I would really recommend you take a scroll through the list of songs on the memorandum, because it's really quite funny. A few things I particularly enjoy are both "Rocketman" and "Bennie and the Jets" making it on to the list, and the blanket inclusion of all Rage Against the Machine songs. Oh, and "Walk Like an Egyptian" made it on the list because the main plane hijacker was Egyptian! It's just all a bit ridiculous.

Given all of this, I think it's especially impressive how popular this song is. At the time of writing, the music video has 1.4 billion views. It's comically popular. And thank god, because it was my first introduction to metal music, so I have a lot to thank it for. In the years after this first introduction, I've expanded my taste and interest and metal by a lot, but I still remember how it felt listening to this track for the first time, the electric energy I felt in the heavy guitars, Serj's incredible singing, and the half dada-ist lyrics. Once I knew that that's what music could sound like, I never wanted to go back.

Another thing I have to thank this video for is, well, the introduction to SOAD --- but on a political level. I discussed last week (and have additionally done so in the past) the intersection of politics and music, and it's something that Serj talks a lot about in the interview I mentioned above. He talks about how he sees himself as an activist first, and the push and pull that this created in SOAD's music, as they had to balance people's engagement and the listenability, with still putting forth the message they wanted to. Serj is especially an activist for recognition of the Armenian genocide, which his grandfather survived, but he does not limit his criticism to only this area. Ironically, on the same record as Chop Suey!, which was effectively banned from radio play, is "Prison Song". How this got through is absolutely beyond me, because the criticism is extremely explicit. The bridge reads, "All research and successful drug policy/ Shows that treatment should be increased/ And law enforcement decreased/ While abolishing mandatory minimum sentences." But, hey, at least it's not (sort of) about suicide! For another great example of the push-pull of entertainment and education, I will always love the absolute whiplash of the pre-chorus which goes, "I buy my crack, my smack, my bitch/ Right here in Hollywood/ The percentage of Americans in the prison system/ Prison system has doubled since 1985."

I'm trying really hard not to go on and on about SOAD, especially because this isn't even my song of the week, but I just think it's a great example of the power of music. And for a week where my theme is about the impact & importance of music in my life, I think it's very worth dedicating some time to talking about music like this, made by artists that really really care, and are doing what they can to expand people's minds, look at things from another point of view, and have anthems for resistance.

Finally, we come to what is my actual song of the week. And I have an apology to make --- there isn't actually an associated music video for it! However, this is my SotW and I make the rules, and I say that on a deeper level than "music videos I really enjoyed as a young teen", this is about the effect of music on me, and Early Sunsets over Monroeville from (who else!) My Chemical Romance wins out on that list. This song meant a lot to me when I was first getting into music properly, at the same time as I was watching all of these music videos, for a few different reasons that I'll try and go through. On a kind of silly level, I really like that this album came out in 2002 --- more properly known as the year I was born. In fact, it's a little bit older than me, and it's really cool that it's been there for me since I was born, like it came into being just a bit before I did to be ready to hold my hand. I'm sappy about it, I'm sorry!! I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me My Love (aka, Bullets) is my favourite My Chem album, and not just because I'm a massive contrarian! I think it's their most heavy & raw album, and has the most screaming (which as we all know I'm a big fan of). Especially if you're someone who struggles with sort of metabolising emotions properly, having very emotional and dramatic music there to help you digest it properly is really really helpful. I love all the songs so much, and from the first pounding guitar refrains of each song, I let the familiarity and calmness wash over me. Yeah, there's probably ways the album could be improved. This thing was recorded over like a week, on such a tight schedule that Frank Iero doesn't appear on most of the songs because he just wasn't available! It probably could use more polish on the mix, to let you pick out some of the instruments a bit better. But it was also groundbreaking for the emo genre at the time it came out, and I kind of love the way it thrums with the jagged edges where they hadn't quite polished who they were as a band yet, and didn't have the money and production to smooth everything out.

As I said, most of these songs I've talked about were discovered through the medium of Ye Olde YouTube, so I think there's also something special about the way this album and song especially represents my branching out from just listening to the music that was presented to me, and searching for music that I really loved myself. It's also, thus, notable that, unlike a lot of the other songs mentioned, this is by no means My Chem's most popular song. It's got to be, truly, like the bottom of the list, being one of the least popular songs on certainly their least popular album. And I don't say this to point out that I'm quirky and cool or whatever, but to point out that it couldn't have been discovered through just listening to the top 3 or 4 songs from each band that had well-liked music videos and was easily found through simple searches. It's a song that's special to me because I found it and loved it, myself.

Actually, I remember how I came across this song, and it's a really stupid story. So, I've discussed previously the role that reddit played in my life at this age, as the first social media that I had, and the way it connected me to communities around bands I liked. In fact, you can tell it's from the same era, because my reddit username is still to this day named after one of the songs on Bullets (but I won't tell you which!). I tried really hard to find the thread that I remember, but it's been lost to the sands of time. But, what I remember was someone telling this (probably untrue) story of them being looked after as young child by a babysitter who snuck the two of them out, and went to a My Chem show. As the story went, being very young and overwhelmed, they started crying, and Gerard started playing the opening of Early Sunsets over Monroeville as a lullaby, to help them calm down. Until that point, I'd never really had any particular connection this song. But the story reframed it in my head, turning it around. Why couldn't it be a lullaby? Now, when I hear the soft guitars that open the track, I always think about this little kid at a show being soothed by the song.

And of course, by this, I mean I'm the little kid at the show. I am soothed by this song. Thinking back on it, it's kind of comical that I didn't realise that maybe getting so overwhelmed and ending up so exhausted every school day that during lunch I would put on my headphones and go lie face down on the high jump mat and listen to mostly Gerard Way yelling at me was, you know, not a normal one. That generally, people didn't get so tired from approximately 4 hours of socialisation, following rules, loud noises in the hall, etc etc that they needed a nap in the middle of the day, and that the most relaxing thing for them was also not, generally, slightly effeminate men yelling at them. However, I'm glad that past-me worked out that this worked for them, and had this outlet. Thank god. I would've been even more insufferable otherwise.

So, yeah. Long story. Sorry!! I didn't realise I had quite so many thoughts on this topic until I checked the word count on this document. All that is to say, I really like this song. I like the journey it takes from the soft beginning to the screaming ending. I like that it's based on Dawn of the Dead. I like that, when you feel real weird and bad, and you can't identify why because you're shit at interroception, you can just yell, "And there's no room in this hell/ There's no room in the next/ But does anyone notice/ There's a corpse in this bed!!!"

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